Party Like You Mean It: A Gathoxian Carousing Table

"Live Fast, Party Hard" - the guy who just woke up with tentacles for arms

From "Anarchy in the Kingdom of Heaven": a zine by Pablo Delcielo & Shihab Alen

Rules

Follow the Zak S. and Jeff Rients rules of carousing. Consult the below tables in case of a mishap or excessive carousing!

Gathoxian Carousing Tables

Table 1

1. You wake up in a (Table 2) with a bandage on your head and your left ear in a jar (-1 Dex for a week).
2. You wake up with a 3-foot tentacle instead of your right arm, an empty drum of sniffing spice, naked, and next to (Table 3).
3. You come to your senses in the middle of a brawl between your party and an equivalent number of gang members in (Table 2).
4. You wake up in the last place you slept, but accompanied by (Table 3).
5. You wake up, face down, in a trash pile (-1 Dex for still being high, -2 Cha for smelling terrible).
6. You wake up in an alley, with (Table 3) rummaging through your possessions since they thought you were a corpse.
7. .You come to in the middle of the night, next to a burned down favela complex, out your favorite weapon, and next to (Table 3).
8. It's dark out when you awake in (Table 2). You've somehow gained back half the money you blew on drugs and drink.
9. You probably took a few too many Jolt-Amp Mega-Punch-Fist Beast Pills. Advantage on Wis checks for 24 hours, but also you take a level of exhaustion.
10. Be cool, do crimes. In your drunken stupor you decided to rob a gang hideout, now you've earned the ire of another street crew based in (1: The Kettle, 2: Berchan Favela, 3: The Craw).
11. You come to with two (or more, depending) broken legs in (Table 2). Being healed by (Table 3) for a price...
12. You come to in your finest wedding suit, being married to your arch enemy's child, only to have (Table 3) interrupt the proceedings by bringing along the parent of the bride/groom!
13. Maybe you should've used some protection. You come to with a painful and mutagenic venereal disease (-1 Con until cured), and naked from the waist down in (Table 2).
14. Along with (Table 3) you managed to anger a death cult from deep in the depths of Gathox. Have fun being pursued relentless by its disciples.
15. You come to falling through the air, wearing Wombat Armor, and being pursued by Mi-Chew riding Crocodactyls. Oh, and there's somebody's left hand in your right pocket.
16. You gambled the night away at the best casino in the Favela. Unfortunately, you lost any remaining money. If you had no money, now you're being pursued by debt collectors.
17. You were surprisingly productive during your bender. You managed to recruit a new hireling to your gang, who you found at (Table 3). Unfortunately, they're a spy for your rivals. 
18. Gathox has jails too! You ended up in one of the privatized prisons around the city, sharing a cell with (Table 3). Bail is your level x 20 GP or 10 RP.
19.  Somehow, some way, you stumbled upon the item your group has been searching for. Unfortunately, it's covered in blood, and only (Table 3) saw what happened.
20. You managed to, in your drug-induced frenzy, commune with Gathox itself. You've traded a piece of your soul to feed its mighty mind, and lost the ability to be reincarnated. In exchange, you've gained +2 to an attribute of your choice***. Oh, and you come to covered in pink slime at (Table 2). This can only be rolled once.

***[Con +2, your skin has become abnormally tough, almost metalic. Str +2, your muscles are so preposterously large that you no longer fit in normal clothing. Dex +2, you've become quick and flexible, like an acrobat contortionist, and just a bit lankier. Int +2, to store your new intelligence, you've got a second brain, in a vat, on your back. Wis +2, you see things others don't, and as a result your eyes now shift color ceaselessly. Cha +2, you've grown younger and more beautiful, practically radiant, making you irresistible to most intelligent species.]

Table 2

1.  Mennau Maximanor, in the closet of lavish apartment
2.  The Cherry Orchard Necropolis, behind a tombstone
3.  The Freeling Gardens, in a vegetable plot
4.  The Bar with No Name, under the counter
5.  The Heat of the Kill, middle of the dance floor
6.  The Catwalk of Private Vicissitudes, on a cremation pyre
7.  The Jimtown Launchpad, on the back of a Crocodactyl about to take flight
8.  The Tower of Flex, trapped under a barbell
9.  The Fountains of Jeet'rr, on top of a worm fountain
10.  Sennarit Descala, in an empty acid tank

Table 3

1.  Two-headed human mutant named Alexandra. looking at you lovingly
2.  A broken-down Arachnoclast
3.  3 angry Mi-Chew with an absurd (really, just totally outlandish) number of knives
4.  A 2d6 gang of Kermen arguing over profit margins
5.  2 political prisoners discussing the nature of factory conditions
6.  A beautiful androgynous assassin named Joy
7.  A space-faring bounty hunter from the last planet Gathox visited
8.  1d6 dead Vulzari
9.  A X'Xul staring angrily at you, having shed its skinsuit
10.  A friendly Fresh Meat, bouncing around near you