Introduction to Chelm: A Town and Its Folk

Okraina Vitebska (Outskirts of Vitebsk) by Solomon Yudovin

After doing quite a bit of thinking, I decided to make some headway on the Zine by diving into one of the major sites for adventure I plan to include: the fictional town of Chelm. What appears here will be greatly edited and expanded upon in the zine. Any and all feedback would be appreciated. Additionally, I'm still looking for contributors! So if you have knowledge of Jewish culture and folklore and want to contribute to the zine in any way, reach out and let me know.  

Based on a real town in the (now) Lublin Province of Poland, the folkloric stories of Chelm have acquired a mythical status quite divorced from actual history. While the town in real life was known as a hub of trade, Torah study, and (later) activism, in folklore Chelm became a town of shlimils, shlimazls, and "wise men" whose bumbling stupidity was profound. The townsfolk are constantly coming up with solutions to problems that may obey some internal logic, but are completely naive and foolish when viewed externally. Historically, the town was home to Jews and non-Jews alike, but for our purposes here the town is assumed to be (almost) completely Jewish. 

An example of a short story (in the public domain, but copied from Seymour Rossel's website about Chelm is the following:

   "One rainy season, the downpours threatened never to end, the roads became impassable, puddles became miniature lakes, and rivers of mud flowed down the mountain. The town council was concerned. Chelmers could not shop, children had to be carried from place to place, and even visiting the necessary presented an existential danger.

      Seven days and seven nights of discussion and debate resulted in the Rain Wall Plan. The elders agreed to empty the town treasury to build a six-foot wall around the entire village of Chelm to keep the rain out. Despite the terrible conditions in which the workmen struggled, the wall was duly erected. Unfortunately, the rain would not cooperate. It continued to fall even inside the Rain Wall!

     The elders met again. Their plight was dire. They had plenty of rain and no more money in the town treasury. After seven days and seven nights of additional discussion, it was decided to switch the meaning of the words. In this way, the town of Chelm suddenly had very much money and no more rain."

As a site for adventure in Der Shprukh, both the folkloric and historical aspects of the town should be utilized. A GM running an adventure in Chelm should present the townsfolk as benignly stupid, naive, and unaware of how foolish they are...at first. Play the villagers for laughs, as they're generally presented in tall tales. However, as adventurers get to know the townsfolk better, the GM should allow their true character to show, revealing an actually wise populace (contrary to the irony of "Wise Men of Chelm") who collectively wear a mask of ignorance in order to protect their community and their secrets* from authorities and outsiders. In this fictionalized setting, the residents of Chelm have in fact spread most of these stories themselves. As with the rest of the Zine, the presumed time period is early 5600's (mid-1800's on the Gregorian calendar). 

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Unknown work by Solomon Yudovin

Quick Facts About Chelm

Climate: Temperate

Population: ~3,000

Date Established: Unknown, but likely around 5000 (1200 Gregorian)

Security Forces: None

Government: Minimal, crises decided by a council of 12 Rabbis/sages/"wise men"

Points of Interest

Historic Chelm Synagogue

The oldest and largest shul in the town, the villagers say it was probably constructed several hundred years ago. Lavishly ordained, its high vaulted ceilings and ornately decorated ark upon the bimah entrance all who enter. It is one of the few stone buildings in town, most others obviously being made largely of wood or in some cases brick. 

Historic Cemetery

The cemetery dates back at least several hundred years to when the first Jews settled here. Many of the gravestones from that time period are worn down so that one can no longer read the inscriptions. Even these grave markers however, constantly have small pebbles placed atop them. Near the back of the burial grounds, an unmarked grave lies mostly covered in ivy. Locals believe this to be the burial site of Eliyahu Ba'al Shem - the first rabbi to create a golem using the name of God. Occasionally, local kabbalists can be found near the grave site. 

Lazar's Butcher Shop

Lazar Katz's butcher shop can be found just off the main town square, and is well-respected by observant and non-observant Jews alike. His shop and products are (obviously) kosher and have been certified by the town rabbinate. Available items include basic rations in the form of chicken or fish jerky (1sp), larger cuts of beef or goat (1gp), and whole chickens and geese (50sp). He also sells quart containers of shmaltz upon request (1gp), and will butcher animals brought to him for a fee as long as they're kosher. 

Yossl's Woodworks

Yossl Frumkin is the preeminent woodworker in town and (along with his 8 assistants) supplies nearly everyone in Chelm with wooden goods for their homes. In addition to houseware, he also makes small, sometimes magical tshatshkes for the children in town. Secretly, Yossl is co-founder of the anarchist cell in town, along with his wife Raizl. Together, they operate the only printing press in Chelm and distribute radical leaflets.

Raizl's Smithery

In addition to household metal-ware such as pots, pans, candlesticks, and the like, Raizl Frumkin also forges metal mezuzot and amulets (such as various hamsa). For special clients, or in times when the town might need to be defended, she has a stockpile of plain and lightly-magical weapons in the basement underneath the shop. Nobody will openly speak of the weaponry, though almost everyone in the town knows.

Zelda's Bakery

Easily the most well-known of the bakeries in town. Zelda Apelbaum and her assistants regularly turn out spectacular rye loaves (1sp), enormous and complex braided challot (5sp), rugelach and mandelbrot (5cp) by the hundred, and (her specialty for which there is no equal) great, twisting babka (1g, one slice heals 1hp and leaves the consumer euphoric no matter the situation). At any time of the week (except shabbes, of course) these items can be purchased. 

The Forest near Chelm

Legend has it that the local forest North of town is a site of ancient and terrifying magics brought to Chelm centuries ago. Some locals profess a belief that shedim make the old ruins in the wood their home. Others will whisper that a secret temple was constructed in the woods as a meeting place for mystics and magic-makers. In truth, much of the forest remains unexplored and is technically property of the local government. Most residents of Chelm choose to stay away.

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A hand-drawn map of the Vinograd shtetl by Liuby Tenofskiy

Adventure Hooks (D8)

1. Rumbling has been heard emanating from the attic of the Synagogue. The doors have been locked for as long as the Chief Rabbi can remember, the key is lost, and nobody has been brave enough to risk breaking through the door to find out what lies within.
2. Politzey (Police) from the nearby city of Lublin have been spotted in town. Clearly goyishe, they stand out like a sore thumb. They're looking for supposed anarchists responsible for producing leaflets that were distributed in Lublin. 
3. Several Chelemite children have gone missing recently after being sent out to forage for mushrooms in the forest. The Wise Men are holding an open meeting at the synagogue to put together a search party. 
4. An enormous esrog (citron fruit) has appeared in the center of town and nobody knows where it came from. However, despite its size it has only one pitom (the nubby bit opposite the stem), and nobody can decide which pregnant woman in the village deserves to bite it off. To make matters worse, folk from another nearby shtetl have gotten wind of the glorious esrog, and women have been gathering to vie for the right to make it into ayngemakhts. 
5. Rain has been pouring down for weeks, and the streets are full of mud. The Wise Men are discussing the building of a "rain wall," advertised a such openly. In reality however, they meet to discuss fortifying the town against a pogrom - word of which they received several days before. The mob, led by the politzey is set to reach down in two days. 
6. Over the last month, farmers on the outskirts of Chelm have been finding some of their precious goats dead at sunrise on shabbes. Rumor has been spreading that an alukah is plaguing the town. 
7. Recently, Chelemites have been complaining of a variety of physical ailments: sore backs, aching feet, cuts or bruises that won't heal, rashes, and the like. The symptoms are constant and seem to be spreading. Some suspect the work of mazikim that may have accompanied a recently arrived merchant caravan.  
8. The sun hasn't risen since it set on Friday night, leaving the townsfolk panicking. If the sun hasn't risen and set again, then is it still shabbes? If it's still shabbes, how can anything get done? The 12 Rabbis must convene to discuss. 

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*to come in future posts. I plan on covering the following and more:

• the Golem of Chelm, first created by the Ba'al Shem
• the secret circle of mekubolem (kabbalists)
• the various shedim occupying the nearby Forest
• a Rumor Table

Zine Announcement: Der Shprukh

"Trapped in the scaffolding of Time, we managed to still float above their imagined borders. We were able to do so, because like a cloud, we are ephemeral phantoms of this world. We are tsvishn tsvey velt*: the world below and the world above. When light speaks to darkness, our hearts fill with Joy, for these are the moments when levone* coos to us. We are timeless, and Time is what chokes us. The world below is not a Hell, it is people and what people make of it. Their Time is not time at all. It is only a tool of punishment. We must strive for that timelessness." - Der Meshunediker, Tohuvabohu Zine 2019

🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ🅐Ⓐ

I want to take this short opportunity to announce that I've begun work on what I hope will become a small zine or series of zines. The focus of this project will be adapting Jewish history, folklore, and culture into a playable old-school D&D setting, with some unique classes, mechanics, and the like. I've already spoken to several people who are interested in assisting me with or contributing to this project, and I hope that together we can produce something interesting, valuable, and that speaks to our experiences as Jews in the modern era. Above all, I want this project to honor the heritage of our people.

Along the way, I'll be posting bits and pieces here, as well as keeping an up-to-date Appendix N with reference materials.

I've decided to call this project Der Shprukh (Yiddish for 'The Incantation') because it speaks to the mysticism/magical qualities that I believe are inherent to much of Jewish life, but also to the mysticism at the root of old-school elfgames. The plan is that all materials produced will be as system-neutral as possible, but definitely skewed towards use in old-school games such as B/X, AD&D, and their retroclones like LotfP, S&W, etc.

Finally, a note on politics. Jews are, obviously, not monolithic: we represent a variety of political opinions. While I (clearly) have my own politics that both inform and are informed by by Jewishness, my goal with this zine is to represent a wide array of our thought - good, bad, ugly, and in-between. However, this project is Diasporic in origin, is set in the Diaspora, and generally skews heavily towards as Diaspora-focused view of Jewish culture and folklore.

If this is a project that potentially interests you, stay tuned to my blog. If you're interested in contributing, reach out.

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*levone = Yid. moon
*tsvishn tsvey velt = Yid. between two worlds

Monster Ecology: The Knight Lure

The Knight Lure

Weary and covered in forest detritus, a lone knight stumbles through the deep wood. The moon is high and bits of light that manage to sneak through the canopy scatter dimly off of his silver armor. His stomach growls and he yearns for the comforts of home. Eventually, a quiet light twinkles among the tree trunks ahead. He quickens his pace, hoping to find some signs of civilization. As the knight gets closer, the sound of soft chimes is heard. Finally, he finds his way into a small clearing inhabited by ethereal and beautiful Fae, their lithe bodies dancing among iridescent green ferns, glowing neon mushrooms, and fuzzy, creeping moss. Entranced, he makes his way towards them, asking for food and shelter. None pay attention.

The ground begins to rumble at his feet, and before he can turn to run it has opened wide to reveal a great, million-toothed maw. A scream barely escapes his mouth as the beast eats him alive, armor and all. The forest grows quiet again, and the subterranean creature awaits its next meal.

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Nobody knows how or when the Knight Lures infested the deep woods of the Old World. While some scholars believe them to be naturally occurring beasts, others presume them to be the creation of an ancient and powerful magic. Regardless of their origin, they've existed for potentially hundreds of years. Found only in deep parts of the densest forests, these enormous creatures burrow into the forest floor, and orient themselves mouth up. Using tentacles disguised as fallen logs or tree roots, they cover themselves with soil and allow vegetation to grow over them. From this position, they wait patiently.

Despite possessing little more than an animal intelligence, they've cultivated a symbiotic relationship with Fae creatures. The Knite Lures are only interested in feeding on the bodies of errant knights along with their delicious metal arms and armor, while various fae beings enjoy feeding on these same warriors' minds and souls. The Knight Lure allows these beings to take up residence in the clearing in exchange for their making it more attractive to gallant warriors. When a new Knight is caught, both the beast and the fae are able to feed.

However, these creatures' great strength comes with a major weakness as well: they are virtually unarmored. Approached from underground, their massive bodies are easy to hack at as they've developed little to no natural defenses save for a few tentacles. Because of this, the occasional goblin community has been known to attack and feast on the meat of the Knight Lure, as putrid as it may be.

Stat Block

AC:       18 (above ground), 13 (below ground or inside)
HD:       7
Attacks: Swallow, Tentacle grab
Move:    0

As Big As:     A forest clearing
Smells Like:  Morning dew (when disguised), rotting entrails (when open)
Sounds Like: Alligators tearing apart their prey
Wants:           The bodies of brave knights
Detests:          Unarmored peasants

Returning to the Blog

To whoever might be reading this: I'm hopeful that this marks a return to a more steady stream of posts. My PhD studies have been consuming most of my time, and I do enough writing that find the energy to post here has been difficult. However, I have several projects I'm working on and I'd like to get them going again.

The first of these is my Black Monolith From Another Sun megadungeon. Two levels are finished, and level 3 is mapped but not keyed. My goal is 5 ascending floors, so I'm about halfway there.

The second project is still in the conceptual phase, but I've been playtesting some ideas with folks over on the FLAILSNAILS Discord server. This involves adapting various Jewish folklore into a useful DnD setting complete with new classes, environments, monsters, quests, and the like. I'm hoping to have some contributors help with this and eventually distribute it as a free or at-cost Zine.

We'll see how it goes, but I'm glad to be back!

Black Monolith from Another Sun: Level 2

What follows is Level 2 of the Black Monolith from Another Sun. While I haven't yet done so, I need to go back and fiddle with the Level 1 map to make them slot together a bit nicer. 

ENCOUNTERS

1-3: 1d4 Zealous Geometers (cultists)

4: 1d4 Purple Sun elves (thieves)

5: 1d4 Serpents of the Legless Star Seekers (fighting men)

6: Escaped Science Experiment from level 3 (4HD, 15 [5] AC, +2 to hit, 1d8 damage with tentacles, 1d3 poison-per-turn attack with fangs), looks like several animals and humans melting together

7: Fast-moving poison cloud from a nearby pipe rupture, run or save against paralysis

8: 1d6 giant desert spiders from a crack in a nearby wall

9: 1d6 escaped prisoners from Level 2, feral, as commoners

10: 1d3 irradiated mutants from a nearby loose floor hatch, as ghouls

MAP

KEY

1. Urban Projection Hall: Massive hall still partially provided with electricity. Five working circular devices in the floor project a holographic representation of Vymrrys into the air. A portion of the city flickers in and out of form from the six broken projector. 
2. Hallway Connector: Several dismembered serpentine corpses litter this room. A pipe hangs from a broken ceiling dripping green ooze onto the floor. A metallic ceiling section has bisected a corpse and sticks jaggedly out of the floor. 
3. Experimental Fluidic Time Room a: Large room lined with semi-functional computer terminals and heavy glass barriers. Floors, walls, and ceiling clearly marked with fluorescent orange paint in heavy stripes near the Fluidic Time Barrier. 
4. Wargames Room: A large holographic display in the center of the room flickers on and off. What seem to be thousands of dots litter the display in various colors. All are marked with coordinates in an alien language. A group of Geometers (1d4) are using this room to rest, but seem determined to defend the room at all costs. 
5. Gravity Control Room: Formerly a control room for the gravity on this floor, it is now in disrepair. A loot cache with alien tech worth 400gp can be found if one manages to dig around in the machinery without loosing a limb (make a successful ability or skill check, or save if none are available). 
6. Botanical Room: Formerly a small-yet-dense vegetable garden, the room now contains foul-smelling ooze made by the decaying plant matter. Radiation has turned it into a hostile and unintelligent life form [3HD, 1d4 grab attack with slime, save or lose a piece of armor]. If the door is left open, the ooze will seek out radiation sources to continue growing, gaining 1HD per day left alone. 
7. Fluidic Time Observation Room: Several (1d6) geometers can be found here observing and taking meticulous notes of the (1d3) Serpents they've locked in the Fluidic Time Chamber†. 
8. Rest Space: Once an old rest space, this area has been trapped against intruders (namely Purple Sun elves sneaking around). Metal furniture sits facing the large glass window, all turned away from any PCs in the hallway. If disturbed, small electric batteries adhered to the front sides discharge, electrocuting the offending PCs for 2d6 damage and stunning them for 2 rounds (save for half damage). 
9. Hidden Refuge: A Being from Another Sun* lies dormant in a hibernation chamber behind the secret door. Empty food packs and used medical supplies litter the room. If the being is woken they will die within 3 rounds if not provided medical attention and rations. They will be grateful to whoever rescues them, however they will not understand any languages aside from their own. 
10. Enclosed Communications Room: Heavy doors seal this cubical room in completely. Painted completely in white with a small orange triangle on the floor. Full power still supplied. By standing still on the spot for 10 minutes, one can access a higher dimension for 5 minutes, and learn 1 true fact about the nature of this place. This 5 minutes will feel like an entire lifetime for the user. A PC not used to the effects of dimensional travel will have to make an appropriate save or lose 1 point of wisdom.
11. Experimental Fluidic Time Room b: Large room lined with semi-functional computer terminals and heavy glass barriers. Floors, walls, and ceiling clearly marked with fluorescent orange paint in heavy stripes near the Fluidic Time Barrier. 
12. Experimental Storage Room: Mostly caved-in room that used to house a variety of experimental parts for the Fluidic Time Chamber. 1 round of searching will yield a variety of unique glasses and metals that could be crafted with or sold.
13. Sanctuary of the Most Transformed Being: Massive room encased in especially heavy iron slabs which overlap like scales. The SW corner of the room has been crushed off by the nearby mountain, but most of the sanctuary remains intact. A serene natural environment (trees, flowers, animals, etc.) are replicated in brilliant ruby crystal. NE corner of the room contains a pool of phosphorescent glass containing a captured Most Transformed Being**. Most sound is silenced immediately by the acoustics of the metal scales. 
14. Medical Bay: Several (1d6) Purple Sun elves are ransacking medical supplies*** and tools labeled in an alien language. 
15. Makeshift Tomb: This old room has been made into a makeshift crypt since the crash. Shimmering black obsidian houses the body of the ship's captain. If the lid is unsealed, the room begins to flood with toxic gas, and is full within 3 rounds. The crypt contains a laser sword (1d8 damage, will set fire to anything flammable), treasure worth 500gp, and a visor that allows the user to see heat signatures through walls twice per day. 
16. Organic Robotics Room: The remains of an old organic-robotics laboratory. Mechanized components lay smashed on lab benches while organic matter decays in fungus-filled tanks. 1d4 Star Serpents have locked themselves in the room and are attempting to build a small army to push out the invaders. 
17. Caved in Elevator Bay: Sparking electronics dangle where the lifts up to Level 3 used to be. If enough time is devoted to clearing debris, this could potentially be used as a shortcut. Would require several days hard labor. 
    
18. Art Gallery: An old walkthrough art gallery. Mostly dark now. Full of refractive glass sculptures, alien animals trapped in liquids, and several small singularities contained in forcefields. 
19. Meditation Room: Formerly a room used for brief meditation sessions, now it's full of decaying corpses. You'd need a strong stomach to want to loot these bodies.
    
20. Observatory: A second deck observatory providing a view of the desert expanse through dusty glass. If found, a shortcut can be opened here down to Level 1, but will initially be full of live electrical and mechanical components. These can be disabled by accessing room 22. 
21. Small Meeting Hall: This small meeting hall has been barricaded from both sides by the furniture in the room. Any retreating enemies will end up here if encountered on the left side of the map. If they are of opposing groups, they will be fighting in the room, with a 50% chance of either group winning, -1 member.
22. Junction Room: Making a successful skill check (i.e. Tinkering) in this room, will allow the PC to disable the electric cables blocking the shortcut in room 20. 
23. Drug Storage Room: Still contains a large supply of deep-space stimulants meant to keep ship occupants awake during long on-duty shifts. Consuming a stimulant gives the user a +1 to hit, and heightened awareness to sounds, but each dose carries a 20% chance of addiction. If addicted, more must be consumed each hour or suffer exhaustion penalties.
24. Propagandists' Office: Contains holographic computer terminals displaying alien propaganda. If deciphered, the holograms indicate some sort of war effort between the Beings from Another Sun, and the Star Serpents.
25. Airlock/Caved in Escape Hatch: A completely sealed airlock deprived of oxygen, leading to a caved in escape tunnel. Preserved corpse inside still carrying 500gp worth of alien gems and green fiberglass armor (+1), resistant to burning. 
26. Armory: An old, raided armory. The north-side closet still contains a laser pistol (1d6, exploding damage) in a glass box.
    
27. Sub-commandant's Chamber: Former office of the Star Serpent Sub-Commandant. All walls, floor, and ceiling are thick glass, allowing PCs to see the still semi-functional internal workings of the ship.

† Massive amounts of power have been diverted to the fluidic time chamber. Between the barriers, time has been liquefied in a vacuum and flows in streams in eddies chaotically. Physical objects trapped in the chamber will age, un-age, die, and be born sporadically. 3rd dimensional consciousness will be ripped apart if contact is made between the brain and a time stream. However, if a PC can make it through the chamber while avoiding consciousness obliteration, they will emerge with +2 to any Ability score, at the cost of a few mutations wherever they've touched a liquid time stream with any other body part. 

*Neither Star Serpent nor humanoid creature, the Being most closely resembles a Drow...(see my upcoming post on Drow for further explanation).

**The glass pool initially looks still and empty. Nearby several UV lights are powered off. If power can be restored via the indicated junction, the glass will glow a phosphorescent blue and begin undulating in a fractalized pattern. The undulation will hypnotize any onlookers for 2 rounds if they fail an appropriate save. Un-hypnotized onlookers will notice that a small, glowing, humanoid fetus lies curled up in the undulating blue glass. It will make telepathic contact and probe the intentions of the PCs. If its questions can be satisfied, it will ask to be freed in return for a reward.

***Searching through the medical supplies will yield a random result from the following table unless the PC can pass a hard DC check to make an educated guess as to what they're looking at.

D4

1 - Healing liquid. If applied to wound, it will instantly staunch bleeding and heal for 2d6 HP.

2 - Radioactive slime. If consumed, random mutation from appropriate table.

3 - Liquid bone-fixing agent. Contained in a plastic pouch. If spread over broken limb, will seep into the skin and reset the bone. However, it's a bit expired and it will accidentally add 1 foot of length to the applied limb.

4 - Alien antibodies. If consumed orally, antibodies will immediately begin attacking and modifying the organ systems of the PC. After taking 1d6 damage, genetic modification will be complete. Gain infravision, add 5 to movement speed, but hearing is now dulled.

 

Party Like You Mean It: A Gathoxian Carousing Table

"Live Fast, Party Hard" - the guy who just woke up with tentacles for arms

From "Anarchy in the Kingdom of Heaven": a zine by Pablo Delcielo & Shihab Alen

Rules

Follow the Zak S. and Jeff Rients rules of carousing. Consult the below tables in case of a mishap or excessive carousing!

Gathoxian Carousing Tables

Table 1

1. You wake up in a (Table 2) with a bandage on your head and your left ear in a jar (-1 Dex for a week).
2. You wake up with a 3-foot tentacle instead of your right arm, an empty drum of sniffing spice, naked, and next to (Table 3).
3. You come to your senses in the middle of a brawl between your party and an equivalent number of gang members in (Table 2).
4. You wake up in the last place you slept, but accompanied by (Table 3).
5. You wake up, face down, in a trash pile (-1 Dex for still being high, -2 Cha for smelling terrible).
6. You wake up in an alley, with (Table 3) rummaging through your possessions since they thought you were a corpse.
7. .You come to in the middle of the night, next to a burned down favela complex, out your favorite weapon, and next to (Table 3).
8. It's dark out when you awake in (Table 2). You've somehow gained back half the money you blew on drugs and drink.
9. You probably took a few too many Jolt-Amp Mega-Punch-Fist Beast Pills. Advantage on Wis checks for 24 hours, but also you take a level of exhaustion.
10. Be cool, do crimes. In your drunken stupor you decided to rob a gang hideout, now you've earned the ire of another street crew based in (1: The Kettle, 2: Berchan Favela, 3: The Craw).
11. You come to with two (or more, depending) broken legs in (Table 2). Being healed by (Table 3) for a price...
12. You come to in your finest wedding suit, being married to your arch enemy's child, only to have (Table 3) interrupt the proceedings by bringing along the parent of the bride/groom!
13. Maybe you should've used some protection. You come to with a painful and mutagenic venereal disease (-1 Con until cured), and naked from the waist down in (Table 2).
14. Along with (Table 3) you managed to anger a death cult from deep in the depths of Gathox. Have fun being pursued relentless by its disciples.
15. You come to falling through the air, wearing Wombat Armor, and being pursued by Mi-Chew riding Crocodactyls. Oh, and there's somebody's left hand in your right pocket.
16. You gambled the night away at the best casino in the Favela. Unfortunately, you lost any remaining money. If you had no money, now you're being pursued by debt collectors.
17. You were surprisingly productive during your bender. You managed to recruit a new hireling to your gang, who you found at (Table 3). Unfortunately, they're a spy for your rivals. 
18. Gathox has jails too! You ended up in one of the privatized prisons around the city, sharing a cell with (Table 3). Bail is your level x 20 GP or 10 RP.
19.  Somehow, some way, you stumbled upon the item your group has been searching for. Unfortunately, it's covered in blood, and only (Table 3) saw what happened.
20. You managed to, in your drug-induced frenzy, commune with Gathox itself. You've traded a piece of your soul to feed its mighty mind, and lost the ability to be reincarnated. In exchange, you've gained +2 to an attribute of your choice***. Oh, and you come to covered in pink slime at (Table 2). This can only be rolled once.

***[Con +2, your skin has become abnormally tough, almost metalic. Str +2, your muscles are so preposterously large that you no longer fit in normal clothing. Dex +2, you've become quick and flexible, like an acrobat contortionist, and just a bit lankier. Int +2, to store your new intelligence, you've got a second brain, in a vat, on your back. Wis +2, you see things others don't, and as a result your eyes now shift color ceaselessly. Cha +2, you've grown younger and more beautiful, practically radiant, making you irresistible to most intelligent species.]

Table 2

1.  Mennau Maximanor, in the closet of lavish apartment
2.  The Cherry Orchard Necropolis, behind a tombstone
3.  The Freeling Gardens, in a vegetable plot
4.  The Bar with No Name, under the counter
5.  The Heat of the Kill, middle of the dance floor
6.  The Catwalk of Private Vicissitudes, on a cremation pyre
7.  The Jimtown Launchpad, on the back of a Crocodactyl about to take flight
8.  The Tower of Flex, trapped under a barbell
9.  The Fountains of Jeet'rr, on top of a worm fountain
10.  Sennarit Descala, in an empty acid tank

Table 3

1.  Two-headed human mutant named Alexandra. looking at you lovingly
2.  A broken-down Arachnoclast
3.  3 angry Mi-Chew with an absurd (really, just totally outlandish) number of knives
4.  A 2d6 gang of Kermen arguing over profit margins
5.  2 political prisoners discussing the nature of factory conditions
6.  A beautiful androgynous assassin named Joy
7.  A space-faring bounty hunter from the last planet Gathox visited
8.  1d6 dead Vulzari
9.  A X'Xul staring angrily at you, having shed its skinsuit
10.  A friendly Fresh Meat, bouncing around near you

  

Grime and Gore: A Review of Gathox Vertical Slum 2: Quake Alley Mayhem

Disclaimer: I was approached by David Lewis Johnson, the author and illustrator of Gathox Vertical Slum as well as GVS2: Quake Alley Mayhem, about writing a review. I agreed, on the condition that I share my honest thoughts about the game and provide this disclaimer. For purposes of the review, I was provided a PDF copy of the book by David.

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Book: Gathox Vertical Slum

Author: David Lewis Johnson

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TLDR

Gathox Vertical Slum 2: Quake Alley Mayhem is a highly-lethal, tournament-style module for use with the original Gathox Vertical Slum setting book (which you can find my review of here) and a party of 3-6 level 1-3 adventurers. The book itself is compact and lays out a small but dense dungeon full of traps and enemies, as well as rules for tournament play as well as suggestions on how to fit it into an ongoing campaign in Gathox. It continues the gonzo sci-fi elements found in the first book but increases the intensity and lethality of the world. With one or two minor caveats, I would give GVS2: Quake Alley Mayhem a hearty recommendation for any lover of old-school roleplaying products who already has the original Gathox Vertical Slum.  

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Review

Setting and Rules

In GVS2: Quake Alley Mayhem, a team of gang members are tasked with infiltrating the Grist Mill - a safe house run by another gang of alien freaks called Kermen - and retrieving Vaclav's Holy Driver, a weapon of great power and importance. The hideout is several sub-stories deep and littered with traps in every room. As if that weren't enough, every 20 minutes, and mini-earthquake occurs, potentially endangering the PCs. Between the enemy guards, traps, and earthquake mishaps, GVS2 proves to be a highly lethal adventure, which the book estimates to be ~80% in playtesting. While I personally don't have an issue with this, some players might, and it will be the DM's job to inform any potential players of this fact. 

Aside from the lethality, one particular quirk of GVS2, is as the name suggests, earthquakes. These happen on a strict 20 minute timer, and are responsible for mishaps which escalate over time as well as opening and closing various doors inside the Grist Mill. This system works well to keep the intensity and pressure up on players, especially for tournament play. However, as quakes escalate, they can be intensely punitive to PCs, especially of a low level who are more likely to fail saves and have fewer HP left after previous encounters. 

The rules that cover tournament play are simple and straightforward, with the DM awarding points for one of five types of actions. If the DM is planning on running the module as part of a campaign in Gathox, GVS2 outlines how to award RP (reputation) to players and their gang instead of tournament points. 

Overall, the added timed elements are clearly delineated and work well, as does the method for awarding points in tournament play. 

Quality and Quantity

Quake Alley Mayhem is compact and punchy. Every room in the dungeon contains something of interest, such as a trap, puzzle, enemy, or all of the above. As was the case with Gathox Vertical Slum, the writing quality is descriptive without being verbose, and appropriately weird for the setting. The artwork is sketchy, grimy, and punk as hell - perfect for the tone of the book. There's just enough to get the imagination flowing without feeling like it's just there to take up space between the text sections. Overall, the quality of the book, both writing and illustration, is top notch, and there's enough to feel substantial for a small tournament module. 

My only small gripe is that I wish there were an inclusion of either an "I Loot the Body" table, or details of treasure to be found besides the macguffin. While those are things any good DM can draw from other sources (including the main Gathox book), it would have been nice to have at least a small table of new or unique Gathox-flavored treasure included. I loved the uniqueness of the items in the main book and was looking forward to more of the same.

Layout and Ease-of-Use

The layout of GVS2 follows closely in line with the original, utilizing a nearly identical layout style and the same font (though in a larger size.) Text never flows (with one exception) over from page to page, ideas are presented neatly with appropriate headers, and wonderfully evocative illustrations break things up well. 

Page 14 contains the 3 maps used for the dungeon, which are simply illustrated and easy to use. My only complaint here is that the maps don't appear again anywhere else in the book, making it so that the DM must flip back and forth between the maps and room descriptions. The solution here is quite easy, however, and would only require the DM to print the page out separately for quick reference. 

Once again, all tables are re-presented together at the end of the book, as well as several pre-gen characters on original Gathox character sheets. Also included at the end is a module tracking sheet for tournament use and an new death and dismemberment table. 

Overall, the book is laid out well and is easy and efficient to use.

The Human Spell Formation Machine (WIP)

Here's my take on the "human computer" described in Cixin Liu's incredible science fiction novel, The Three-Body Problem.

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The Great Sorceress Adira bat Kezia, fifth Vymrr of that city and second of her line, stood atop her specially constructed sandstone spire which rose 600 feet above the nearest tower. To her back was the Boiling Kettle, angry and steaming with its bubbling whirlpools and melting islands. To her front was the Crushed-stone Sea, that vast and terrible expanse seemingly without end. The sun was high and the winds were low. She raised her hand, the fluorescent stone bangles falling down her forearm, and the tumultuous crowd on the sand flats below grew quiet. 

"Rejoice! For today, together, we will perform a feat of magic unknown in the history of our people. Let us achieve this, so that we might live in splendor."

Cheering erupted from the thousands-strong gathering below as they made their way into the first formation. When all were ready, the Great Sorceress snapped her fingers and the ritual began. In groups of seven, the volunteers began their incantations, creating an inharmonious and haunting melody that carried through the city. Adira herself began to chant, weaving mystic signs in front of a massive lens, her apprentice maintaining a magical font of light above. The resulting shadows cast upon the ground formed the guidelines for the formations of the crowd. 

With each completed formation, the strength of the magic grew, each unit of seven maintaining a different aspect of the complete spell, creating their own signs as part of the whole. 

At first, the magical energies appeared as a crackling in the air. A static charge the sound of a flock of sea birds. But as the sorceress and her peons created and assumed ever more complex arrangements, the energy began to permeate the earth, lacing through the sand and stone in impossibly fractalized patterns of pearlescent hue. A grouping in the crowd mistimed their chant and were swallowed whole by the sands, but still the spell continued. The ground shook, and the bleak clouds above trembled and were wiped away. Adira's chant rose to a shriek and all below mimicked her in unison, their shrill intonations mocking the gods for their contentment in the heavens. In the distance, the northern mountains split and blossoms of radiant energy burst forth, soaking everything nearby in a harsh and violent radiation. But near the city, beautiful trees erupted from the sand, flowers bloomed in the cracks of the sandstone buildings, food appeared on the tables and water in the wells. The deceased were reborn as their beautiful younger selves. As the spell continued over days, the city rejoiced as their newfound paradise took shape. Its beauty was indescribable. 

In an instant, Vymrrys was transformed into a paradise - a utopian city caught between a boiling ocean and a desiccated, infinite desert.  

And just as the massive human spell machine reached the zenith of its spellcasting, something went horribly wrong.

The newly grown trees began to shrivel and die and the food to rot. The dead, newly risen just days ago, began to decompose where they stood as the living wept. An unearthly stench filled the alleyways. Citizens cried out as the Boiling Kettle breached the sea wall and flooded the streets, swallowing the city whole. The human-spell-formation-machine collapsed, the casters turning upon one another in the chaos as Adira looked on, leaving the flats caked in blood and viscera. Impenetrable clouds filled the sky and writhing black masses erupted from the Apex and wriggled across the dry, cracked earth. Dark and inhuman figures rose over the desert and laughed at the folly of humans, their shadows miles long.  

The Silent Effigies of the Howling Hills

Far to the North of the Great City and its pearlescent towers, the arid desert climate slowly gives way to rolling grassland. Past these savannas the earth begins to buckle and heave skyward to form the Weeping Children, that black and imposing mountain range streaked with ice and snow. Where the mountains and the grasslands meet, the Howling Hills make themselves known. Due to a unique geographical oddity, the occasional gusts of wind produce a howling sound as they curl among the knolls, ensuring that not many visit or travel through. However, those that find themselves wandering through this peculiar patch of land may encounter the Silent Effigies - a field of humanoid sculptures surrounding the ruins of an old monastery. While walking among the effigies, no sound can be heard, and the air is always still with no precipitation no matter the weather nearby.

Use the tables below to randomly generate effigies.

Singular or Clustered (d6)

      1 - 3. Singular
      4 - 6. Clustered (roll d4 to determine number)

Material (d20)

1. Mud and twigs
2. Pile of oddly shaped rocks drawn on with ink
3. A tree stump carved by a knife
4. Roughly forged iron
5. Perfectly shaped brass
6. Animal bones and furs/skins
7. Wax
8. Single piece of wood
9. Frozen lightning
10. Entanglement of snakes nailed together
11. Glass
12. Thousands of layers of parchment/paper
13. Snow
14. Vines and flowers
15. Canvas sack filled with feathers
16. Thousands of lightning bugs encased in crystal
17. Void
18. Birds frozen in flight
19. Mirrors
20. Immaculately carved marble or sandstone

Pose (d20)

1. Graceful pirouette 
2. On knees frozen in horror
3. Crucified upside down
4. Arms crossed
5. Sitting in lotus position
6. Standing on hands
7. Swimming
8. Fighting stance
9. Standing erect, hand outstretched pointing towards something
10. Kneeling on the ground, playing with a small animal
11. Arms akimbo
12. Bowing in prayer
13. Exalting in joy
14. Flexing muscles
15. Hand to ear listening intently
16. Sinking into the ground
17. Brandishing a sword or spear
18. Smiling sadistically with hands behind back
19. Reaching out with both arms
20. Fetal position

What Happens if it's Destroyed? (d10)

1. NPC known to the party is found dead the following day in the same position
2. Ghost bound to the effigy is released and thanks the PCs, gives location of treasure hoard
3. Witch who built the effigy finds out, vows to hunt down the PCs
4. NPCs known to the party go mad and begin slaughtering other locals, creating a panic
5. Nearby village or town is struck by the plague
6. Beast lying dormant beneath the monastery awkens
7. Foul blood bubbles up from the earth
8. PCs incur the wrath of a good deity for their misdeed
9. Local villagers thank PCs for destroying the effigies of their sadistic feudal lord
10. As it's being destroyed, effigy is animated and tries to fight to the PCs

Gathox Vertical Slum: District Tram Lines and Encounter Tables

After reading through David Lewis Johnson's excellent Gathox Vertical Slum for probably the 3rd time now, I decided to make my own DIY content for it. On a longish train ride recently, I sketched up some ideas for a tram system through the slums. My idea is that the trams would not only provide a type of transit and a new location for a variety of random encounters while city-crawling, but also another means and strategy for the territory control and the gangland meta-game. For example, the PCs end up controlling a specific station as a source of income, but are constantly warring against another faction who controls the rest of the line. I felt that this new method of travel would work well in a futuristic/pan-galactic mad-max-esque urban landscape. The tram cars themselves are mostly ramshackle assemblages of discarded technology and are generally in need of constant upkeep. They aren't terribly safe to ride, but still shuttle tens of thousands of passengers a day. Although verticality is a huge part of the Gathox setting, I haven't placed the tram lines vertically within the world -- that's up to the DM. In my game I chose to go with elevated lines that directly followed streets at about six stories up. This led to a variety interesting scenarios and tense encounters.

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How It Works

Depending on where adventurers are in the slum at any given point will affect which lines are available to them. On the map below you can see the tentative placement of three haphazard tram lines, each of them connecting two of the three districts. Each line also comes with an indicated Danger Rating on a scale of 1 (safest) to 3 (most dangerous). 

GREEN LINE (3): connects The Kettle to Berchan Favela

BLUE LINE (2): connects The Kettle to The Craw

PINK LINE (1): connects Berchan Favela to The Craw

When PCs wish to use the tram to move within a district or between districts, they would pay the indicated fare to the operator, and the DM would roll on the encounter table once for the ride. So for example, if Vardax the Mutant, Kristi the Cosmic Doctor, and Lobat the Martial Master wanted to take the GREEN LINE 2 stops across The Kettle, the DM would roll once on the GREEN LINE ENCOUNTER TABLE after the PCs paid for 2 stops worth of travel. 

Map

Map courtesy of David's blog. 

Encounter Tables

GREEN LINE (3)

4GP / stop

1 - 5. Ride continues as normal

6. A small band (d4) of hyper-capitalist Kermen plant a flag on the tram car and declare by First Possession Theory that the tram car is now sole property of Kerman society. As such, they quickly begin an attempt to convert the tram car to small textile factory.
7. 1d6+1 X'Xul halt the tram using their space magic and attempt to enslave the passengers (including the PCs). 

8. One of the tram passengers unwittingly disturbs a trash pile in the rear of the carriage, causing 1d6 Arachnoclasts to spring into action, instantly riddling him with laser holes as they begin firing indiscriminately into the tram car. 

9. PCs board the tram car only to find 1d4 dead and dying commoners, potentially victims of a gang scuffle. With proper skills half of them can be saved.

10. As the tram creaks along, a nearby building is swallowed by Gathox, but several vagrants are able to leap from their windows and hang onto the moving carriage for dear life. One of them looks like she's falling though. If saved, she can be recruited as a lvl1 Street Tough hireling at no initial cost.

11. At the first station, a large human and several bodyguards board as well. It seems their leader, Shasta the Serpentigress, is looking for people vaguely matching the PC's description. PCs must persuade that they aren't the right people or be forcibly dragged all the way to the Gorgontula estate to talk to Shasta.

12. A Contrail Antenna flies alongside the tram, spouting inane conspiracy theories about the passengers and PCs alike. 

13. PCs pay for a tram ride, but are surprised when none shows up as expected. If they question the fare collector thoroughly enough, they might reveal that they were paid off to ignore any stoppages by a well-funded gang who wished to assassinate a rival gang leader (Krotex Motorhead, Lvl3 Soldier) riding the car. If the PCs can locate the stopped tram in time, they could potentially prevent the assassination. 

14. A Contrail Antenna flies alongside the tram, spouting inane conspiracy theories about the passengers and PCs alike. 

15. Kalina von Hammershmitzensteinbergovichdorf, a popular celebrity heiress, boards the tram car with a small army of personal servants and several guards. The servants sweep the ground in front of her and clear the rabble from the car. Kalina wears intricate neon and bejeweled robes and avant garde makeup to conceal her face from advanced facial recognition tech employed by the Mokron and some paparazzi.  

16. Tram car track/cable snaps/breaks and the whole carriage crashes through the ground into the sewers. The crash ends with the tram car in a pool of oil, and a group of 3d4 sewer children stalking the passengers as they exit. 

17. Gathox begins a planet-hop mid tram ride. Gravity is suspended, lights flicker and colors invert. The tram car seems to stretch to infinite length as all matter is extruded and contorted. The effect lasts seemingly forever and for no time at all. When Gathox finally arrives at its new home, things seem to resume as normal, but one of the PCs realizes that their arms and legs have been flipped, the result of an unprepared hyperspace jump.

18. Two upstart nightclub DJs stage a turntable battle on the tram car. The passengers, having decided the winner by the strength of their dancing, mob the loser and attempt to toss him from the moving carriage. If saved, the DJ can be hired as an entertainer to boost the income of any entertainment-type property owned by the PCs. 

19. A toxic jet spews from a nearby waste dump, soaking one side of the car in radioactive techno-waste. PCs near the jet of waste (50% chance) must make a DEX throw or suffer 1d6 damage of radiation burns, take a -2 penalty to CHA checks until they can clean themselves, and have a 10% chance of sprouting a random mutation. 

20. 4d4 pirates stop the tram with steel grappling hooks and quickly attempt to instal rocket boosters to the tram. This will take 5 turns. If successful, they turn on the rockets and attempt to fly the tram car out of Gathox into the wilds of the planet, and towards their base of operations. 

BLUE LINE (2)

8GP / stop

1 - 10.  Ride continues as normal

12. A tall, bald woman in neon robes and face paint slips into a seat near the party. She offers to join their street gang (lvl2 Cosmic Doctor) if you agree to help her assassinate the leader of the Free Bastards, the gang that killed her brother. 

13. Just as the group settles down on the tram, a supremely ugly mutant in a trench coat approaches  and asks if they want to buy any weapons from his "special supply". If so, he gives them an address to a hidden shop in The Kettle.

14. A fanatic of the Elven Primacy Hall leaps onto the tram car from above and tosses a smoke grenade into the car. All party must save vs. poison or hallucinate for 5 hours (-3 to hit). 

15. Two human street urchins board the car in the crowd at the next station, and ask among the crowd for donations to an acrobat troupe - worshippers of The Goddess Who Balances on Narrow Precipices. If donation is given by the party, they are invited to a performance in Berchan Favela. 

16. Shouting is heard from the front of the tram car as several Vulzari agents leap through the windows and assassinate the tram operator! They claim the tram for the Vulzari and attempt to hold the occupants hostage until they can be taken below ground for forcible conversion.

17. Some newly installed parts explode (50% chance of the explosion being near the party) instantly killing nearby occupants, or dealing 1d6 damage (save for half) to PCs. The explosion leaves the tram near a station but in a precarious situation (i.e. might be hit by another tram car, dangling and about to fall to the street, near a building that's about to collapse, etc.)

18. 1d6+1 gang members from a hostile Neighborhood Friendship Society board the tram and begin asking occupants for "protection money".

19. Several passengers in the back are openly smoking bakra root in the back of the tram, filling the cabin with an acrid smoke. Unless they're stopped, everyone on the tram is spun out by the next stop (save or -1 to all checks for 6 hours). 

20. As the PCs get up to exit the car 1d8+1 Sloughs crawl through the car, having already removed the face of the tram operator and one passenger! If left unchecked, they will harvest a number of faces equal to the number of rolled Sloughs -2 before returning underground. 

PINK LINE (1)

12GP / stop

1 - 15. Ride continues as normal
16. An otherwise uneventful ride is interrupted when the tram's (already unstable) power goes out, leaving it stranded halfway between two stations.
17. A Mi-Chiw elite death squad (1d6+1, level at DM discretion) boards the tram at the next station, shouting loudly that they're searching for someone. The grotesque turtle-people snatch a small boy from his mother if nothing is done and leave the tram car before it departs.
18. Without warning a fight breaks out between d4 humans and d4 Glaatu down the aisle of the tram car. Laser blasts start firing and other passengers flee or hide.
19. If PCs are lucky they'll notice that the tram has begun to move in a direction it wasn't supposed to. It turns out that the Gathox tendrils have eaten the next station, and now the tram is headed deep into the underground caverns where swallowed buildings dwell.
20. A massive sandstorm from the deserts of Red Doom sweep through the city, filling the tram car with a thick red sand haze. When it clears, the PCs realize that the tram has stopped, but they're now missing any currency they were carrying.

New Name, New Header

Hey readers! As should be obvious, I've decided to change the name of my blog as well as redo my header image to match.

So what is Yenemvelt?

Yenemvelt is a Yiddish word loaded with meaning and nuance. Strictly speaking, it's generally translated as "other world" with alternate romanized spellings as yenne velt, yenemsvelt, and yenevelt. But it's more than that, and highly dependent on context. In general conversation it can be used in a few ways:

1) as a way to say "you're off in your own land" or too lost in your own reality, or

2) as a way to refer to "the middle of nowhere" or somewhere so far away as to be inconvenient.

However, I prefer the third way: as a reference to somewhere far off, imaginative, and full of magic. When used in this way, yenemvelt is an evocative way to talk about the mystery of lands unknown. In this context, you can see why I like it so much.

That is, ultimately, what I want this blog to be - an exploration into another world, the yenemvelt.

Black Monolith From Another Sun: Level 1

Last week, I flew back from LA and while on the flight decided to sketch up some ideas for a hex/point and dungeon map for my Vymrrys campaign setting. Below are some general ideas I had, the first go at a map, and a map key. Within the couple weeks or so I'll probably take another stab at it before moving on to the next level of the dungeon. While not a "megadungeon" - I'm nowhere near skilled enough yet to successfully design something that complex - I'm hoping I can expand this out to at least five levels. You'll notice a lack of access to other levels. Once I've designed those I can begin to add more interconnections.

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Vymrrysian scholars have long theorized as to the true nature of the Black Monolith, that totemic object which stabs out from the Infrared Octagonal Hills to the southeast like a knife. While some holdouts still cling to the notion that it was constructed by a long-since-exterminated civilization, most modern academics believe it to have originated from one of the many thousands of suns that dot the night sky. Many an aristocrat has sent scouting or raiding parties to the Monolith, bringing back a variety of alien gems, metals, and the like, assuming they were able to get past the structure's formidable security measures.

Several levels of the monolith have been explored so far, but reports indicate that there are assuredly several more floors above the first 3. In the time between aristocrat-funded treasure-hunting groups, other creatures have themselves moved in, or at least tried to do so. Most recently, a breakaway faction of Zealous Geometers have announced a claim the Monolith, and have begun to set up magical defenses and wards near the only known entrance to the structure. Most hallways are unlit, though some rooms still have flickering or unstable light sources. The whole structure is composed of a dark black and green alloy.

ENCOUNTERS

1-3: 1d4 Zealous Geometers (cultists)

4: 1d4 Purple Sun elves (thieves)

5: 1d4 Serpents of the Legless Star Seekers (fighting men)

6: Escaped Carnivore Slug from level 2 (3HD, 15 [5] AC, +3 to hit, 1d6 damage, sluglike but can leap from floor to attack)

7: Fast-moving poison cloud from a nearby pipe rupture, run or save against paralysis

8: 1d6 giant desert spiders from a crack in a nearby wall

9: 1d6 escaped prisoners from Level 2, feral, as commoners

10: 1d3 irradiated mutants from a nearby loose floor hatch, as ghouls

MAP

Solid blocks indicate loose floor sections (i.e. pit trap down into mechanical sections of the ship), while Xs indicate dangling electric cables that will shock PCs. 

KEY

1. Entrance to the Monolith. Seamless black door made of the same metallic alloy as the structure. Guarded by 1d4 Zealous Geometers. Closely observant characters will find finger smears in the shape of two triangles about ten feet apart on the surface, indicating two people must trace the outline to open the door. If a Geometer is captured they tell PCs how to get in. 
2. Central Hall. Quiet and dimly lit, save for the faint hum of distant mechanical constructs. The air here is still. High up in the ceiling enneagram-shaped shards of metal glow dimly with a phthalocyanous green hue.   The <--> indicates a large staircase which ascends to Level 2. Locked behind massive and ornate doors. Unfortunately, since Level 2 hasn't been designed yet...I haven't made a way to open these.
3. Empty Room. Room looks like it's been picked clean for quite some time. Secret door leads to hidden alcove containing the intertwined skeletons of long-dead lovers. Note in an alien language. Mechanically unfurling religious icon in the shape of a lotus made of metal (worth 50gp). Weak wall can be smashed into 4.
4. Old barracks room. 1d4 Zealots have turned this old barracks room into a waystation for their group. They may be trying to breach the heavily secured door to 5.
5. Chrome Well. Three steps lead down around the room towards a 5' diameter basin about 3 feet high. A perfectly still chrome liquid* is perfectly level with the surface. The only light emanates from bright orange signs in an alien language ring the walls. If translated the signs read "Use If All Hope Is Lost". The air here smells metallic and feels oppressively heavy. Around the sides of the room are scattered the broken remains of glass and steel containers, though several are still intact. 
6. Security Checkpoint. An old security checkpoint, now abandoned. However, tripwire strung diagonally, blocking southwest corner. Strange gun (1d6 exploding damage, 5 laser charges) is visible in sealed case. If tripwire is touched, make save or take 1d6 damage from steel spikes in the floor. 
7. Strange Cathedral. Void Guardian** sleeps between the alloy pillars at the far end of the room, in front of an incomprehensible glass and metal icon to That Which Sails the Void***. Secret door leads to what looks to be a still-useful seed-bank. If computer system is toyed with, 1 in 6 chance that seeds are launched into atmosphere. Most of them are alien plant species, but several of them are seeds which will grow into new Void Guardians. 
8. Storage Room. An old storage room, picked clean. 
9. Meeting Room. A large, round table at the center of the room. 1d4-1 Zealots are meeting here with a Serpent-man representing a faction further along in the dungeon - the Legless Star Seekers.  
10. Study Rooms. Two adjacent rooms that at one point were used to study data from the Humming Archives. Powerless mechanical hummingbirds lay dormant around the room, and valuable metals have been ripped from the electronic devices in the walls. If the powerless hummingbirds are brought to the archives 1 in 2 chance of reactivation (worth 200gp if captured and sold powered on). 
11. Mess Hall, Skirmish Site. The sight of a recent clash between factions. Several corpses are scattered around the room, as are the signs of magic use. One in two chance that 2 "corpses" are actually still alive but dying slowly. If searched carefully, several packets of sealed rations of an alien food can be found. They are still edible, though will taste strange to PCs. 
12. Viewing Port. Walls here are made of a near-unbreakable glass compound through which the expanse of the Infrared Octagonal Hills is viewable. Metal benches dot the room. One of few sources of natural light in the Monolith.  
13. Martial Training Room. Plastic and foam dummies of various alien species dot the room, clearly stations for martial training of prior occupants. 1d4 Zealot scholars are in deep thought taking notes on the representations of foreign life. Searches reveal 2 alien swords of black, lightweight alloy, as well as a pair of lightweight flexible Turbo Gloves (bonuses as unarmed attack, but 1 die type higher damage due to pulse propulsion of fists during strike. Also grants 1-point bonus to checks made to grab or catch objects with hands). 
14. Power Relay Station. Several lights flicker through strange gems within the casing units of this near non-functional power station. Fiddling with or destroying this relay station to remove the gems (50gp each, 5 total) will permanently shut off all non-natural lighting on Level 1, disregarding 17. 
15. Psionic Prison. All surfaces made of white alloy, and otherwise empty aside from the ceiling-mounted cage of black psionic energy. Trapped inside is a telepathic life form made of slow-growing crystal lattice†. Door from the hallway is trapped any attempt to pick the bulky lock mechanism will deliver an electric shock to the PC worth 1d6 damage. Save for half. Can be opened safely with cardkey found on a corpse in  14.
16. Guard Room. Contains information about the crystal life-form in an alien language on a holographic datapad. Door to 15 is trapped any attempt to pick the bulky lock mechanism will deliver an electric shock to the PC worth 1d6 damage. Save for half. Can be opened safely with cardkey found on a corpse in  14.
17. Humming Archives. This seeming library hums with the still-going activity of thousands of mechanical hummingbirds, sucking electric knowledge nectar from the stacks and shuffling it around. Three levels. Spiral stairs lead from 1 -> 2 and from 2 -> 3. Several old skeletons are located on level 3 near a destroyed stack. 
18. Chrono-Hall 1. Malfunctioning but still powered graviton generators have created strange time fields in this hall passage and the following. In this section, time moves at roughly 1/4 the speed. Sound is deep and language becomes almost indecipherable, light moves slowly and bends through the air, etc. Spending too much time here will become disorienting upon exit. If more than 2 turns are spent here, PC incurs a -1 penalty to reaction rolls for 1 hour. One can see the flicker of these forces in the air as specs of red energy. 
19. Chrono-Hall 2. In this hallway time his sped up by 4, as is one's momentum upon exiting the hall from the East side. PCs that don't make any attempt to move as slowly as possible will rocket out of the time field at quadruple their normal speed, and on a failed save, crash into the nearest wall for the equivalent of 10 feet of falling damage. 
20. Shooting Range. Nonfunctional shooting range. Laser burns scar the metal walls. A laser rifle (1d10 exploding damage, 10 charges) sits locked in a case (extremely difficult to open, trapped) along the wall nearest the door. When PCs enter, 3 purple sun thieves are trying to open it. They will try to talk their way out of the situation before fighting. If PC attempts to force the gilded case open, a laser blade will extend like a wire from the case edging and attempt to remove fingers. On a failed save, 1d6 damage and lose 2 fingers.  
21. Escape Pod Room 1. Empty save for spots where escape pods used to be. Doors are ringed in bright orange paint. 
22. Escape Pod Room 2. Similar to above except one pod remains. Made of similar smooth blackish green metal alloys as the rest of the ship. Glass window at approximately 3/4 the height of the pod. Inside can be seen an inhuman skeleton in some sort of armor.†† Inoperable hatch unless power is restored. Glass can be shattered with a near impossible strength check.  
23. Archivist's Quarters. Ancient computing systems sit unpowered around the room, powerless hummingbirds lay scattered about. Now being used by Tetratus (magic user, 4HD, 14 [6] AC) acting leader of the Zealous Geometer's expedition, along with 2 of his underlings (both fighting men, 2HD, 15 [5] AC). He will be immediately hostile if he knows any of his men have been killed. Otherwise, he may attempt to parlay with the party for information. 
24. Vertical Gardens. Small radiation sources in the walls and ceiling have kept the plants growing far longer than they should have. Many alien vines and flowers twist around each other from within their gilded housings. Extended exposure to the radiation in this room is toxic to all PCs and NPCs. If the room is visited twice for more than one turn, use a table to determine random mutations for characters. 
25. Medical Center. An old and picked over medical center. Vertical pods with shattered glass in corners of rooms. Several healing items can be looted here, though PCs wouldn't recognize them. 1d4 Purple Sun elven thieves are picking through the room on arrival, probably descended from Level 2.
26. Empty Room. What was once here is now gone. What looks to be a metal desk has been stripped of ornamentation, and one body lies in the corner, decaying. --> in the nearby hallway indicates an open well within the ship. If someone jumps or stumbles in and fails a save, 100 feet of falling damage as they plummet through the machinery in the lower levels. 
27. Caged Men. Door guarded by 2 serpent-men of the Legless Star Seekers. Pitch black room full of stacked cages, most with skeletons. Upon closer inspection several cages contain 3 captured Geometers. The secret door at the end of the hallway between 27 and 28 provides a secondary entrance to the Monolith. Can only be entered via scaling a cliffside, and if exited without caution, PC takes falling damage from 30 feet without a successful save. 
28. Meditation Room. Sealed by an "airlock" style door system, organic metal fixtures weave throughout the room, providing natural places for alien bodies to relax and meditate. Several pairs of soft shoes are present in the lock. A flickering holo-projector sits in the center of the room, the black room intermittently punctuated by the cyanic light. Holo-lenses can be stolen for 200gp each. Sound echoes extremely well here, and creating enough noise will cause pain. PCs not attempting to walk or talk quietly will create noise at ten times the volume. For every PC making noise all PCs in the room take 1d3 damage per turn. Currently empty and still. 

*Chrome Liquid. Functions as a one-time use set of flexible, light, plate armor. Used by original inhabitants in case of the ultimate emergency. If touched, liquid will quickly move to cover the entire body including all orifices. Dampens hearing partially and smell completely, but breathing and sight are still possible. Grants a +2 bonus to saves vs any inhaled poison, breath, or similar attacks, nullifies contact poisons and grants +3 AC on top of current AC. However, extended use of the armor is ill advised. Every 30 minutes of wear take 1d4 damage as the chrome anchors itself into the skin. Can be removed on command and will turn into a solid slab of metal once removed. Can only be carried in specified containers.

**Void Guardian. 5HD, 16 [4] AC. +3 to hit, 1d6+1 physical attacks, 1d10 psyonic attack requires 2 turn recharge, feeds on radiation. 15' tall, slick grey skin the texture of cured leather. Muscular arms and thick legs but no head. Thick prehensile tail. Instead of a head, a blinking metal contraption is set directly into the shoulders, with tubes inserting directly into the back and upper chest. Senses room by vibra-location, giving all PCs a -3 penalty to stealth.

***The Icon of that Which Sails the Void. A glass and alloy structure that seems to mutate without moving. Its etherial substructure creates a religious totem of indescribable shape and complexity. If meditated before for one day, the PC will be granted brief contact with the deity.

†Slow-growing Crystalline Entity. Has been imprisoned for hundreds of years be the Monolith's original occupants. Nearly insane. Has been subsisting on trace amounts of radiation leakage through the ship. If freed will immediately search out stronger sources of radiation. However, may have information on some of the groups in the Monolith. Not immediately hostile but will go through anything to find more food. 6HD, 11 [9] AC, 1d4 prismatic rays per round, colors as spell prismatic spray.

††Armor from Another Sun. Ornate black and gold armor made of densely woven threads and high-grade ceramic plating. Full suit is AC as plate. Grants damage resistance to missile attacks. Motorized joint assists can absorb half of falling damage.